What Does It Mean To Make Amends?
Indeed, these steps are dedicated to make amends, one for the victims and the other for their families. It means something has changed in their lives, the lives of their family members, their friends, and even their neighbors. if you or someone you love is struggling from substance abuse please contact our drug addiction hotline provided below.
Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines reparations or make amends as "compensation for loss or injury," but what does that mean? For addicts, it means compensating those who have been damaged by addiction.
Before you start something, it is wise to prepare for it and understand the concept; indeed, it is essential to understand all the steps involved and contribute to completing it.
According to Alcoholics Anonymous, the eighth step is to create a list of people who have harmed you and make amends. The eighth of the twelve steps is making amends, and it is an essential step in the whole process.
It is essential to understand that a simple apology is not enough to damage you during the process. You have to make sure that you say, 'I know I did wrong and I changed, and I want to put things right.
Restoring contact with loved ones is part of making amends, but while preparing for making amends, the next step is to beg for it to succeed actively.
This is where the 9th and 12th steps come in, and it is the most crucial step in the whole process of making amends and forgiveness.
One of the most important things to remember is that not everyone will accept your attempts to make amends. Anonymous says the move will make direct amends to people, even if it would harm them or others. For example, you should not seek amends if this could result in someone being injured in an alcoholic car accident. Instead, consider becoming an organ donor or donating to a charity that supports victims of drunk drivers.
The point of making amends is acknowledging the damage your addiction has caused, not to push it back into the past. Your sponsor and the 12 steps will tell you that it is easy to get bogged down in step eight or nine. You can speed up your recovery without worrying that your actions will drag you down.
But remember that you can do your best to make amends with the people who have wronged you. Acceptance and forgiveness are desirable but unnecessary, and only one's own forgiveness is necessary for your recovery to continue.
Making Amends, And Why It Matters
A fundamental aspect of addiction is that addicts violate their principle of believing in a good self.
For an addict, these transgressions can descend to truly terrifying depths, but we should look more closely at the process of making amends. One of the essential parts of recovery is to process the damage we have done to our neighbor and do everything we can to relieve the pain that has been dished out. A reductive definition would be to apologize for harming ourselves sincerely.
One of the keys to recovering from addiction is to reconcile intention and action. By combining action with words, we can convince others that we are genuinely committed to repairing a lousy relationship. Compare this to the thousands of useless excuses we offer our fellow men, probably for nothing. In the case of amends, you can define the difference between regretting having stolen from someone and drawing up a repayment plan.
12-step model of Recovery for Making Amends
If you are familiar with the 12-step model of recovery, remember steps 8 and 9 when you read the last two paragraphs. Make a list of the people you have harmed, and get ready to make amends. These changes are so significant because they are the changes that occur when we recover from addiction.
These two steps are an invaluable element and a basis for a sober life, and we must deal with the past before we move towards a better future. If people or others are injured, they must be compensated somehow, even if this is only money or other compensation.
I recommend taking these two steps if you are committed to a peer support program that is not the AA or NA model. A fundamental aspect of addiction is that addicts violate their principles and beliefs about the good self. In life, we are obliged to harm others, regardless of our intentions or knowledge. We are obliged to harm ourselves and ourselves, Regardless of choice and without knowledge.
One of the essential parts of recovery is to process the damage you have done to the people closest to you and to do everything you can to ease the pain you have caused yourself. For some addicts, these transgressions can descend to truly terrifying depths, but we should look more closely at the process of amends. A reduced definition would be to apologize for harming yourself sincerely.
Making a list of People to Make amends With After Recovery
For the uninitiated, make a list of all the people who have harmed you and be ready to make amends.
These two steps are an invaluable element of the basis of a sober life, and we must deal with the past before we move towards a better future.
We recommend that you take these two steps once you have committed yourself to the valuable process to many in recovery. Although SMART Recovery and Practical Recovery have no specific amends measures, both methods acknowledge that they are valuable for many recoveries and recommend recognizing our role and doing things right when possible. Peer support programs that do not go beyond the AA / NA model, as you may have read.
It is a personal decision actually to make reparations, but in Naikan therapy, knowledge is the first step towards making amends. Naikan therapy helps us reach this understanding and helps us develop a deeper understanding of our role in and responsibility for past events. It teaches us that we need to understand at the outset what was the most complex part of this process of representation compensation.
Some people repay by helping others, purifying the soul, or serving elderly parents.
The Process of Making Amends and What it Means in Recovery
Some people do not make amends, either direct or indirect, but according to the Naikan model, psychotherapists can promote making amends. So, instead of trying to make amends for past wrongs, we should look at the process of making amends in a little more detail. It is by no means a significant part of recovery and certainly not the only way to recover.
The term is essential to try to communicate face to face with the person who has wronged you, face to face. If you are not ready to meet, or if time or distance does not allow a meeting, it is recommended that you contact him or her by phone or e-mail.
You should always avoid finding fault or blaming yourself, and if you believe that, you do not need to burden other people to relieve yourself. It would help if you offered what you can to repair the damage you have done and try to find a way to heal it. When you acknowledge the pain and hurt, he or she has caused you, open up to him or her as a friend or family member. Show them how you have changed and the words of your own heart through your words and actions.
Note that this process's aim should not be to close yourself off, but to help you deal with the injustice you have inflicted. You can atone for your actions by making yourself suffer for them, and if you suspect that the answer may be "yes," try to do something else to "make amends" for those actions, such as volunteering to help the needy, making a donation to a good cause, or taking steps to help someone in your life. If you have painful information that you do not know or need to receive, ask yourself whether you would benefit from it.
It is quite possible that someone is desperate to make amends but does not want to do anything about it. If someone you have hurt does not want you to accept him or her, it is best to accept that fact and find a way to close yourself off.
If you have deliberately taken positive and benevolent measures in this part of your life, you can go back and accept that one hand of innocence has been washed away with the other.
They can try to involve them in treatment and ensure that they receive the appropriate support and treatment for any triggers or stressors that might trigger a relapse. I never recommend pushing the issue or putting someone who has already been harmed in an uncomfortable situation. If someone you have harmed is still actively addicted, be very careful if you want to jeopardize your fragile sobriety. Although remedial action is significant, as the Betty Ford Clinic notes, your primary responsibility is to protect your own health and recovery from substance abuse.
It is essential to consult your doctor, your GP, your local doctor, and your GP or addiction counselor.
Making amends is a long and arduous process that can lead to new burdens and problems, but the experience is a resource that can help you avoid the pitfalls along the way and ensure that you emerge from your crisis happier, healthier, and stronger. We are strong, stronger together, we heal from hostility, aversion, and contempt, and we assure the people who have wronged us that we are doing the right thing.
We can change something so necessary because this change deepens the pain and suffering of addiction. We can provide the tools needed to restore broken ties with family and loved ones and support those in need.
Making amends refutes the temptation to blame others, and it also has significant benefits for mental health. Dr. John D. Siegel, Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, says: "making amends means taking responsibility for causing an injury and then doing something to correct or heal that injury.
SMART Recovery and Practical Recovery do not behave as specific policies for amends. Still, we must recognize that the process is valuable for many recoveries and recommend that we recognize our role and do things right if possible.
This allows the patient to focus on correcting mistakes and healing old injuries.
Make sure you do it to carry it with you at all times, and sometimes it is best to just write it down on a piece of paper. It is also acceptable to print everything out on a mobile phone or computer, but it is sometimes not the best thing.
You should not rush through your list of changes, otherwise you will miss something, and it may include some things that you already know you cannot make amends for.
It may feel as if you are not doing everything you should be doing at this stage, and your list will feel incomplete. Just like making amends for past people, do as much as you can, even if some people think you should just put them on the list. But just because that's true, it's still important that you don't remove people from your lists.
This is not an activity you want to do in one night, but a series of activities over a few days, weeks or months.
This can be difficult and can make you depressed, so take the time to make your list to make sure you think of everyone and take your time. Take time out, even if it's just a few minutes or even an hour or two, and make a list of them.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, AA and similar groups use social support and encourage recreational users to help each other succeed.
If you have difficulties or even need advice at any point in your journey, there are ways to reach out to other group members. Some are even encouraging; others who have gone through the 12 steps themselves will probably get an insight into how best to do it for themselves.
The Recover has many treatment centers listing on their drug rehab directory that provide modern and effective programs to treat mental health and addiction. The treatment centers are located throughout the country, and many are the strongest and most active recovery communities in the United States. If you or a loved one is currently experiencing addiction or are concerned and unsure, please contact our health helpline for support.