Thursday, February 2, 2023
No Result
View All Result
Find treatment now
The Recover
Call us (888) 510-3898
Add a Listing
  • News
  • Browse Drugs
    • Alcohol
      • Alcohol Info
      • Beer
      • Wine
      • Liquor
      • Binge Drinking
    • Illicit Drugs
      • Illicit Drug Info
      • Cocaine
      • Crack Cocaine
      • Ecstacy
      • Hallucinogens
      • Heroin
      • Inhalants
      • Ketamine
      • Marijuana
      • Meth
      • Synthetic Marijuana
    • Painkillers
      • Painkillers Info
      • Codeine
      • Darvocet
      • Demerol
      • Dilaudid
      • Fentanyl
      • Hydrocone
      • Methadone
      • Morphine
      • OTC Drugs
      • Oxycodone
      • Tramadol
    • Sleeping Pills
      • Sleeping Pills Info
      • Ambien
      • Amytal
      • Lunesta
      • Sonata
    • Stimulants
      • Stimulants Info
      • Adderall
      • Antidepressant
      • Concerta
      • Dexedrine
      • Diet Pills
      • Ritalin
      • Steroids
    • Benzodiazepines
      • Benz Info
      • Ativan
      • Halcion
      • Klonopin
      • Librium
      • Valium
      • Xanax
  • Addiction Treatment Centers
    • Luxury Rehab Centers
    • Countries
      • Drug and Alcohol Rehab Ireland
      • Drug Rehab Switzerland
      • Drug Rehab England
      • Drug Rehab Treatment Costa Rica
      • Mexico Addiction Treatment
  • Treatment
    • Treatment Information
      • Inpatient Rehab
      • Outpatient Rehab
      • US Treatment Centers
      • Inpatient vs Outpatient
      • Treatment Myths
      • Medications for Addiction
      • Drug and Alcohol Detox
      • Faith-Based Treatment
      • Addiction Counselors
      • Sober Living Homes
      • Coping with Triggers
      • Relapse Prevention
      • Pet Friendly Rehabs
      • Couples Rehabs
    • Support Groups
      • 12-Step Programs
      • Alcoholics Anonymous
      • Narcotics Anonymous
      • SMART Recovery
      • Women for Sobriety
      • Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS)
      • LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR)
      • Celebrate Recovery (CR)
      • Dual Recovery Anonymous
      • Learn to Cope
    • Therapies
      • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
      • Biofeedback
      • Holistic Therapy
      • Experiential Therapy
      • Motivational Enhancement Therapy
      • Dialectical Behavior Therapy
      • Couples Behavioral Therapy
    • Resources for Loved Ones
      • Intervention Services
      • Al-Anon Family Groups
      • Nar-Anon Family Groups
      • Co-Dependents Anonymous
      • Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) Group
  • Resources
    • Health and Safety
      • Domestic Violence
      • HIV/AIDS
      • Hepatitis and Other Infectious Disease
      • Cardiovascular Effects
      • Respiratory Effects
      • Gastrointestinal Effects
      • Musculoskeletal Effects
      • Kidney Damage
      • Liver Damage
      • Neurological Effects
      • Hormonal Effects
      • Prenatal Effects
      • Other Health Effects
      • Mental Health Effects
      • Death
    • Who Addiction Affects
      • Veterans
      • Teenagers
      • College Students
      • Pregnant Women
      • Professional
      • Elderly
      • Medical Professional
      • LGBTQ
  • Mental Health
    • Dual Diagnosis
    • Eating Disorders
    • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • OCD
    • Borderline Personality Disorder
    • Schizophrenia
    • Depression
    • Anxiety Disorders
    • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
    • Personality Disorders
    • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
  • FAQ’s
    • What Is Addiction?
      • How Addiction Affects the Brain
    • Can I avoid jail time if I go to rehab?
    • Can I bring my laptop / phone?
    • Can I bring my partner/spouse?
    • Can I bring my pet?
    • Can I call my family in rehab if so, when?
    • How can families and friends help someone needing treatment?
    • How can I find an addiction rehab program?
    • How do I get time off of work to attend addiction rehab?
    • How do I know if my rehab is licensed?
    • How do I pay with insurance?
    • How does addiction affect a teens developing body and mind?
    • How effective is drug addiction treatments?
    • How long does treatment last?
    • I’m not an addict, do I really need treatment?
    • Is addiction a disease?
    • Is drug addiction treatment worth its cost?
    • Is methadone/suboxone a better replacement?
    • Should I choose inpatient or outpatient?
    • Should treatment be gender specific?
    • What advice can you offer when comparing treatment centers?
    • What are the best 12 step alternatives?
    • What happens after discharge?
    • What if I have chronic pain?
    • What if I need psychiatric medication?
    • What is drug addiction treatments?
    • What is private treatment?
    • What is the difference between physical and psychological addiction?
    • What is withdrawal? How long does it last?
    • What role can the criminal justice system play in treatment?
    • What type of accreditations do rehabs have?
    • Where do 12 step or self help programs fit in the program ?
    • Where should I go? Locally/Away?
    • Why cant drug addicts quit on their own?
    • Why do programs use the 12-step program?
    • Will my insurance cover drug rehab treatment?
    • Will they drug test in Rehab?
  • Contact Us
  • News
  • Browse Drugs
    • Alcohol
      • Alcohol Info
      • Beer
      • Wine
      • Liquor
      • Binge Drinking
    • Illicit Drugs
      • Illicit Drug Info
      • Cocaine
      • Crack Cocaine
      • Ecstacy
      • Hallucinogens
      • Heroin
      • Inhalants
      • Ketamine
      • Marijuana
      • Meth
      • Synthetic Marijuana
    • Painkillers
      • Painkillers Info
      • Codeine
      • Darvocet
      • Demerol
      • Dilaudid
      • Fentanyl
      • Hydrocone
      • Methadone
      • Morphine
      • OTC Drugs
      • Oxycodone
      • Tramadol
    • Sleeping Pills
      • Sleeping Pills Info
      • Ambien
      • Amytal
      • Lunesta
      • Sonata
    • Stimulants
      • Stimulants Info
      • Adderall
      • Antidepressant
      • Concerta
      • Dexedrine
      • Diet Pills
      • Ritalin
      • Steroids
    • Benzodiazepines
      • Benz Info
      • Ativan
      • Halcion
      • Klonopin
      • Librium
      • Valium
      • Xanax
  • Addiction Treatment Centers
    • Luxury Rehab Centers
    • Countries
      • Drug and Alcohol Rehab Ireland
      • Drug Rehab Switzerland
      • Drug Rehab England
      • Drug Rehab Treatment Costa Rica
      • Mexico Addiction Treatment
  • Treatment
    • Treatment Information
      • Inpatient Rehab
      • Outpatient Rehab
      • US Treatment Centers
      • Inpatient vs Outpatient
      • Treatment Myths
      • Medications for Addiction
      • Drug and Alcohol Detox
      • Faith-Based Treatment
      • Addiction Counselors
      • Sober Living Homes
      • Coping with Triggers
      • Relapse Prevention
      • Pet Friendly Rehabs
      • Couples Rehabs
    • Support Groups
      • 12-Step Programs
      • Alcoholics Anonymous
      • Narcotics Anonymous
      • SMART Recovery
      • Women for Sobriety
      • Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS)
      • LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR)
      • Celebrate Recovery (CR)
      • Dual Recovery Anonymous
      • Learn to Cope
    • Therapies
      • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
      • Biofeedback
      • Holistic Therapy
      • Experiential Therapy
      • Motivational Enhancement Therapy
      • Dialectical Behavior Therapy
      • Couples Behavioral Therapy
    • Resources for Loved Ones
      • Intervention Services
      • Al-Anon Family Groups
      • Nar-Anon Family Groups
      • Co-Dependents Anonymous
      • Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) Group
  • Resources
    • Health and Safety
      • Domestic Violence
      • HIV/AIDS
      • Hepatitis and Other Infectious Disease
      • Cardiovascular Effects
      • Respiratory Effects
      • Gastrointestinal Effects
      • Musculoskeletal Effects
      • Kidney Damage
      • Liver Damage
      • Neurological Effects
      • Hormonal Effects
      • Prenatal Effects
      • Other Health Effects
      • Mental Health Effects
      • Death
    • Who Addiction Affects
      • Veterans
      • Teenagers
      • College Students
      • Pregnant Women
      • Professional
      • Elderly
      • Medical Professional
      • LGBTQ
  • Mental Health
    • Dual Diagnosis
    • Eating Disorders
    • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • OCD
    • Borderline Personality Disorder
    • Schizophrenia
    • Depression
    • Anxiety Disorders
    • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
    • Personality Disorders
    • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
  • FAQ’s
    • What Is Addiction?
      • How Addiction Affects the Brain
    • Can I avoid jail time if I go to rehab?
    • Can I bring my laptop / phone?
    • Can I bring my partner/spouse?
    • Can I bring my pet?
    • Can I call my family in rehab if so, when?
    • How can families and friends help someone needing treatment?
    • How can I find an addiction rehab program?
    • How do I get time off of work to attend addiction rehab?
    • How do I know if my rehab is licensed?
    • How do I pay with insurance?
    • How does addiction affect a teens developing body and mind?
    • How effective is drug addiction treatments?
    • How long does treatment last?
    • I’m not an addict, do I really need treatment?
    • Is addiction a disease?
    • Is drug addiction treatment worth its cost?
    • Is methadone/suboxone a better replacement?
    • Should I choose inpatient or outpatient?
    • Should treatment be gender specific?
    • What advice can you offer when comparing treatment centers?
    • What are the best 12 step alternatives?
    • What happens after discharge?
    • What if I have chronic pain?
    • What if I need psychiatric medication?
    • What is drug addiction treatments?
    • What is private treatment?
    • What is the difference between physical and psychological addiction?
    • What is withdrawal? How long does it last?
    • What role can the criminal justice system play in treatment?
    • What type of accreditations do rehabs have?
    • Where do 12 step or self help programs fit in the program ?
    • Where should I go? Locally/Away?
    • Why cant drug addicts quit on their own?
    • Why do programs use the 12-step program?
    • Will my insurance cover drug rehab treatment?
    • Will they drug test in Rehab?
  • Contact Us
No Result
View All Result
The Recover
No Result
View All Result

When Kids Have To Know

The Recover by The Recover
January 6, 2018
in Featured
0
Support, Love, Addiction

My nephew wakes up, 7 years old, hair a mess and optimistic about his day, he is the sweetest child in the world. He asks me what day it is, wrongly guessing that today is Tuesday. I correct him and tell him today is Wednesday. Wednesday is visitation contact day. For my nephew’s parents to contact me, their son’s legal guardian and aunt, about setting up a plan for visitation over the coming weekend. His parents’ alternate weekends and so he gets mixed up about who is coming to see him next.

Over the holidays, I found out his father was arrested for possession and paraphernalia a month prior. When I asked him about what he was in possession of he admitted to me it was Meth. Instantly I was furious. He’s been out of prison all of 3 months and he’s still taking chances. He has no legal visitation rights as he was in prison during the guardianship process. He was to put himself on calendar with the judge to set up visitation but never did. I had been kind and allowed him visits at my discretion. At my discretion now, I will not allow my nephew to be around an active user.

When that sweet 7-year-old child asked when he would have his visit with dad, I had to pick my words carefully. I’ve never had to explain this to him, and I don’t want him knowing too much and the knowledge upsetting him. I believe honesty is the right way to go, but how much is too much honesty at seven? The same words come out of my mouth when I tried to gently explain his parents addictions at age 5, “They are sick, they need to get help but until they are better, you are going to be living with us, we love you so much and we’ll always be here for you”. Now two years later, he’s older and he has been watching. He is the most aware 7 year old I’ve ever met. He listens and absorbs, his compassion and empathy is unbelievable.

Last year we lost another family member to addiction. We had just celebrated the birth of her first child and she was barely 21. Three weeks after her son was born, she had succumbed to an overdose. When my nephew heard about her passing, the first words out of his mouth were, “What about her baby?” He knows what its like to feel alone, he lost so much when he was 5. We’re still picking up the pieces and guiding him into a happy, normal childhood.

So what do you say when the old excuses don’t work? How much do you tell them? What kind of reactions should you prepare for? Unfortunately I can’t give you all the answers, but I can help guide your responses. I know I’ve got a lot more questions coming my way in the future.

Timing. To me it’s the most important thing. When my nephew’s grandma passed a week after he had been with us, I was not prepared to share that will him. His mother had run off and his father was sitting in a cell, awaiting the 16 month judgment he received less than a month later. We decided not to tell him right away and waited until it was closer to her memorial service. He took it well at the moment, but we have had tearful outburst happen, as that’s just how he decided to process it. When telling a child about a painful reality, you need to be aware of the other events going on in your child’s life. Sometimes putting it off can help cushion the blow of hurtful news. Making sure your child is in an even temperament can help keep the emotions from going too far south too quickly. Make sure the distractions are limited.

Be educated. Knowing what your talking about can make the conversation run smoother. You are the adult and your child is looking to you for knowledge. If you don’t have the answer, say that you will help them find the answer together.

Tell the Truth. Explain that addiction is a disease caused by a number of factors, including genetics, environment and past trauma. Similar to people with diabetes and heart disease, their parent is sick and needs treatment to feel better. Of course using different terminology to explain to a child. Children can usually tell when you are lying.

Keep it age appropriate. Children don’t need to be loaded up with heavy details to understand why things have happened this way. Break the issues down as simply and directly as possible, and finish with a message of hope.

Acknowledgement. This is another one that is super important to me. When you’re a kid you can feel like your feelings don’t matter. Most everything is completely out of your control as a minor. Make sure to take time to validate the child’s experience with their parent’s addiction. Apologize for the effect it has had on them and ask open questions to find out how they’ve been feeling about it.

Perspective. I know sometimes kids can feel envious of other families without addiction issues. Its important to let your child feel like they are not alone. Depending on their age there may be an Al-Ateen meeting that they can attend. I am currently looking for a place that young children can go and participate in.

Releasing the shame. Some children can feel that they are at fault for their parents use. Maybe if they cleaned their room or played quieter, they wouldn’t be looking for an escape. This is especially hard if the addict had blamed the child in the past. Addiction is not their fault. It is important to make that clear to them. Addiction takes over the brain and makes them powerless to stop it, just as the child is as well.

I’m still learning how to handle these things. I myself struggle with boundary issues and have to make sure my nephew’s protection is number one. I cannot allow myself to be too involved in his parents choices, because it drags us all down. We are a happy, healthy family unit and I intend to keep it that way. I myself will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting with the support of my brother in law in the morning. I’m looking forward to hearing some real experiences and learning how to teach myself to let go and not enable. I wish you luck with your own personal experience and hope your child is able to process and heal from their traumas.

Previous Post

Pilots Risking The Skies

Next Post

Involuntary Rehabilitation May be the Next Move to Combat Opiate Crisis

Next Post

Involuntary Rehabilitation May be the Next Move to Combat Opiate Crisis

Questions about treatment?


Get Confidential Help 24/7

Call now for:

Access to top treatment centers
Caring, supportive guidance
Financial assistance options
---- Call Us Today ----
(888) 510-3898

Get Answers to your Questions

Find a Treatment Center Near You

Learn more about your options and find the perfect treatment center in your area

Find A Local Rehab Center

Recent Posts

  • Masturbation Effects on Kidneys
  • Are More People Depressed
  • How to Detox From Weed
  • Should I Take Meloxicam at Night Or in the Morning
  • How to Recover From Too Much THC Edibles
  • Best Supplements For Peyronies Disease
  • Shrink Your Prostate in a Matter of Seconds
  • Signs You Grew Up With Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
The Recover

© 2018 The Recover

Find Help Now
Confidential Call
(888) 510-3898

Info

  • About Us
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • E-mail
  • Add a Listing

Social

No Result
View All Result
  • News
  • Browse Drugs
    • Alcohol
      • Alcohol Info
      • Beer
      • Wine
      • Liquor
      • Binge Drinking
    • Illicit Drugs
      • Illicit Drug Info
      • Cocaine
      • Crack Cocaine
      • Ecstacy
      • Hallucinogens
      • Heroin
      • Inhalants
      • Ketamine
      • Marijuana
      • Meth
      • Synthetic Marijuana
    • Painkillers
      • Painkillers Info
      • Codeine
      • Darvocet
      • Demerol
      • Dilaudid
      • Fentanyl
      • Hydrocone
      • Methadone
      • Morphine
      • OTC Drugs
      • Oxycodone
      • Tramadol
    • Sleeping Pills
      • Sleeping Pills Info
      • Ambien
      • Amytal
      • Lunesta
      • Sonata
    • Stimulants
      • Stimulants Info
      • Adderall
      • Antidepressant
      • Concerta
      • Dexedrine
      • Diet Pills
      • Ritalin
      • Steroids
    • Benzodiazepines
      • Benz Info
      • Ativan
      • Halcion
      • Klonopin
      • Librium
      • Valium
      • Xanax
  • Addiction Treatment Centers
    • Luxury Rehab Centers
    • Countries
      • Drug and Alcohol Rehab Ireland
      • Drug Rehab Switzerland
      • Drug Rehab England
      • Drug Rehab Treatment Costa Rica
      • Mexico Addiction Treatment
  • Treatment
    • Treatment Information
      • Inpatient Rehab
      • Outpatient Rehab
      • US Treatment Centers
      • Inpatient vs Outpatient
      • Treatment Myths
      • Medications for Addiction
      • Drug and Alcohol Detox
      • Faith-Based Treatment
      • Addiction Counselors
      • Sober Living Homes
      • Coping with Triggers
      • Relapse Prevention
      • Pet Friendly Rehabs
      • Couples Rehabs
    • Support Groups
      • 12-Step Programs
      • Alcoholics Anonymous
      • Narcotics Anonymous
      • SMART Recovery
      • Women for Sobriety
      • Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS)
      • LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR)
      • Celebrate Recovery (CR)
      • Dual Recovery Anonymous
      • Learn to Cope
    • Therapies
      • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
      • Biofeedback
      • Holistic Therapy
      • Experiential Therapy
      • Motivational Enhancement Therapy
      • Dialectical Behavior Therapy
      • Couples Behavioral Therapy
    • Resources for Loved Ones
      • Intervention Services
      • Al-Anon Family Groups
      • Nar-Anon Family Groups
      • Co-Dependents Anonymous
      • Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) Group
  • Resources
    • Health and Safety
      • Domestic Violence
      • HIV/AIDS
      • Hepatitis and Other Infectious Disease
      • Cardiovascular Effects
      • Respiratory Effects
      • Gastrointestinal Effects
      • Musculoskeletal Effects
      • Kidney Damage
      • Liver Damage
      • Neurological Effects
      • Hormonal Effects
      • Prenatal Effects
      • Other Health Effects
      • Mental Health Effects
      • Death
    • Who Addiction Affects
      • Veterans
      • Teenagers
      • College Students
      • Pregnant Women
      • Professional
      • Elderly
      • Medical Professional
      • LGBTQ
  • Mental Health
    • Dual Diagnosis
    • Eating Disorders
    • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
    • Bipolar Disorder
    • OCD
    • Borderline Personality Disorder
    • Schizophrenia
    • Depression
    • Anxiety Disorders
    • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
    • Personality Disorders
    • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
  • FAQ’s
    • What Is Addiction?
      • How Addiction Affects the Brain
    • Can I avoid jail time if I go to rehab?
    • Can I bring my laptop / phone?
    • Can I bring my partner/spouse?
    • Can I bring my pet?
    • Can I call my family in rehab if so, when?
    • How can families and friends help someone needing treatment?
    • How can I find an addiction rehab program?
    • How do I get time off of work to attend addiction rehab?
    • How do I know if my rehab is licensed?
    • How do I pay with insurance?
    • How does addiction affect a teens developing body and mind?
    • How effective is drug addiction treatments?
    • How long does treatment last?
    • I’m not an addict, do I really need treatment?
    • Is addiction a disease?
    • Is drug addiction treatment worth its cost?
    • Is methadone/suboxone a better replacement?
    • Should I choose inpatient or outpatient?
    • Should treatment be gender specific?
    • What advice can you offer when comparing treatment centers?
    • What are the best 12 step alternatives?
    • What happens after discharge?
    • What if I have chronic pain?
    • What if I need psychiatric medication?
    • What is drug addiction treatments?
    • What is private treatment?
    • What is the difference between physical and psychological addiction?
    • What is withdrawal? How long does it last?
    • What role can the criminal justice system play in treatment?
    • What type of accreditations do rehabs have?
    • Where do 12 step or self help programs fit in the program ?
    • Where should I go? Locally/Away?
    • Why cant drug addicts quit on their own?
    • Why do programs use the 12-step program?
    • Will my insurance cover drug rehab treatment?
    • Will they drug test in Rehab?
  • Contact Us

© 2018 The Recover

Find Help Now
Confidential Call
(888) 510-3898

Change Location
To find awesome listings near you!